


Lobotomy of a Lamb

by nocturnalsorrow



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Blood and Gore, Cigarettes, Dark, Depression, Eventual Romance, F/M, Mind Manipulation, Niphilims, Temporary Character Death, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22954648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturnalsorrow/pseuds/nocturnalsorrow
Summary: No one talks about the fragility of humans and the human mind. A trauma takes place inside her that no one seems to notice as she tries to fight it alone. Yet, what happens if someone will try and take advantage of her helplessness.
Relationships: Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 144
Collections: Obey Me Stories





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: portrayals of traumatic experiences, gore, PTSD and depression.

_Pain_

  
It travels through my body with every squeeze of the cold pale hand wrapped around my neck  
"Does it hurt?" The demon in front of me asks mockingly as I try to gasp for air but to no avail. With every squirm the pain grows bigger, with every attempt of a single breath, he squeezes harder crushing my humanely neck like a crumb of nothingness. A metallic taste fills my mouth as blood spews from my orifices.  
His violet eyes are glistening with hatred and disgust, yet a satisfied smile grows on his pale, bored face as my body goes limp, the face of the demon becomes blurrier as time passes.   
  
_Dark_.

The feeling of dispair takes the place instead of the air in my lungs. Nothing. The sound of silence is deafening and the view of the void is blinding.  
Yet, a spark of light creeps into my view as a small speckle of hope. I try to reach for it and when the tip of my finger touches it, a powerful gulp of air fills my lungs  
  
 _I'm breathing_.  
  
I open my eyes. The little stars on the ceiling of the room are twinkling from twilight of the Devildom as it fills the space. My room. It is morning. I'm shaking. A sharp migraine pierces my head. Cold sweat glistening on my forhead. I reach for my neck, as I struggle to breath, taking in big greedy gulps of air, like it's a rare occurence, like it's scarce, like those breaths are the last ones I'll ever take. But is it not and I am indeed, alive.  
  
 _It was another dream_.   
  
I look at my D.D.D. Time flies different in Devildom but I know that I have to get ready or I'll be late. I have to, yet even the small movement of grabbing the device in my hand sends arrows of pain through my body. I'm tired. Ever since that incident I'm having those dreams, reliving the nightmare of being killed by someone I trusted. By someone I tried to help. I know I did the right thing, but yet it feels like I betrayed someone closer to me than any of the brothers.   
  
I get up slowly and sit down to my vanity. I look in the mirror and the image in front of me is not a pleasant one. I reach for one of the drawers and I grab a small oval shaped pan with a beautiful ivory color that has an intricate model on top. It's from Asmo, he gifted it to me some time ago. I swipe the substance under my eyes. They are puffy and tired, so tired that a bruise like color starts to form, begining from the outers corners, getting deeper and deeper with every restless night that passes and haunts me. I know that someday the make-up from Asmo won't be enough to cover this pain. And yet... i can't tell them. They are finally happy. Finally getting along...  
  
I tie the last ribbon from the uniform. It's a hassle. I hate it. The golden, silky ribbon felt like a noose around my neck. It's suffocating me. Even the slight touch of something else, other than my hand it sends me into an uncomfortable state. But I can't complain... I can't. It has to look perfect. For Devildom, for Diavolo, for the exchange program.   
My struggle does not matter, they do not see it. I'm a mere human brought in to bring peace among worlds. I do not matter. I just had to stay alive and yet I barely succeded at that and now I'm paying the consequence.  
  
I go downstairs, with every step, a knot accompanied by nausea is filling my gut. My head and muscles are still hurting. The closer I get to the dining room the more I know I have to bring up my composure. I can hear the clinking of cuttlery and plates, laughter and bickery between the seven brothers. The smell of food makes my stomach turn and the noise is making my pain even worse. I reach the table and sit down. I look at my plate, it's filled with human food , but I have no appetite. Even grabbing a fork feels like grabbing a boulder with my pinky. I just want for everything to end.  
  
"You're late!" Lucifer's deep voice pierces my ears making the hair on my neck to rise.  
  
"I'm sorry! I just overslept. It won't happen again" I say, trying to sound normal and cheery, like my usual self.  
  
His crimson eyes are scanning me up and down.

  
"It shouldn't happen again, indeed" he says with a strict voice. He glimpses at my untouched plate of food with a concerend look on his face.

I look around. Mammon is trying to steal Levi's new gaming device that he is flaunting it like the most prized possesion. Asmodeus is trying to bug Satan about something but he won't remove his eyes from his book. Beelzebub is eating ignoring everyone.

One of them is missing. The sight the source of my trauma is not an easy one, ever since then, yet today it feels harder than before.

"You haven't eaten a thing..." says Lucifer, his words holding a weird kindness to them, a kindness that you rarely see from the Avatar of Pride, a natural one, coming from his own depth, and not because Diavolo asked him to show it.   
  
"I'm not hungry! Hey, Beel, want this?"  
  
Lucifer tries to say something but is taken aback by the ravenous appetite of a specific demon.  
  
"I thought you'd never ask!"says Beel as he swallows the food without chewing, almost absorbing the plate as well.  
  
"Beel, try and breathe next time!" a younger, more pubescent voice fills the room. It's him. I feel his mullberry eyes with an apathetic expression, half covered by a darkish-bluish locks meets mine for a second. He tried to reconcile, I have a pact with him and yet..  
  
 _Breathe_

 _"Is it hard to breathe? Does it hurt?"_  
  
I hear those words again in my head, his sarcastic tone mocking my struggle. The hatred for my kind and everything I am, my whole being, the mistake I represent.  
  
My muscles go stiff and yet my hands are shaking. I'm biting my tongue as the headache grows even stronger giving me the feeling of my skull almost cracking open. My vision gets blurry and I feel like I'm the verge of collapsing.  
  
"Oi, human! Are you okay?"

  
I hear Mammon's voice from across the table.  
  
"You look very pale..." says Lucifer "Are you alright? Are you getting sick?"  
  
"Oi! Don't go around and spread those disgusting human germs of yours!" barks Mammon  
  
He said worse things to me before but this time it hits different. I am indeed just a disgusting human, a caricature of the worst traits of the two bigger worlds, a parasite...  
  
 _What the hell are those thoughts?!_ This isn't me, these aren't my feelings yet I can't help but to feel hopeless as even more pain shoots through my body.  
  
"Ew, germs and snot are not very pretty" purrs Asmodeus   
  
I shake my head in order to disperse those thoughts but it makes me more dizzy and weak.  
  
"N-no, it's fine. I'm fine! I'm not getting sick, just a little tired, that's all. Now, if you please excuse me, I forgot something in my room!" I try and raise myself from the chair. I can see how one of Lucifer's eyebrow rises while watching me. I know he senses that something is wrong, yet I'm trying to ignore the concerned looks he throws at me. Is not my place. I'm just a human. 

I feel like my legs are gonna betray me at any point but I have to get out. I can't let them see me like this...it's not my place to do that. It's not my place to feel like this. They are finally together. They are finally getting along. They are finally happy.  
  
A gloved hand is stopping me from moving. It feels so heavy that I'm almost falling under it's weight.   
  
"Try and not be late today. Your grades will depend on that"  
  
He is right. We have an important exam today.

  
  
"Understand. Don't worry about it, I'll be right back!" I say trying to hide the pain in my voice, raising the tone a little bit in a cacophony of cheerfulness.  
"Good." says Lucifer with a coldness in his voice. "We shall see..."  
  


_Fuck._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are not strong! They do not care about you, human. You are nothing but a vessel of flesh for a rancid soul. You are not valuable, you do not matter. They are just using you for their selfish desires and after that they will discard you like scum. They can't even feed on you as you are rotten, dirtied by fragility!"

"I'm coming with ya!" Mammon yells the moment I step out of the dining area. I always found his attachment intriguing but this time, hearing those words feel like a hot iron being pressed inside my chest, taunting my inability to escape the fury. A maddening sensation, a dark desire to see the demon in front of me suffer, an artificial rage that I haven't felt before. I want to see him suffocating, his smug face turning to dust.

 _I just needed some peace and quiet..._ I think to myself, while I'm trying to hold it together.

"No!" I yell, the sound coming back at me as an echo. We are alone in the cobblestone decorated hallway, with torches illuminating our faces and projecting a warm light.

You might think that Devildom is scorching, burning the souls of sinners at every step, allowing it to be swallowed into an incandescent dimension of pain and torment, but it is not. It is as cold as death, dark and silent. The warmth and light only coming from the forever burning torches and fireplaces, which are being fuelled by magic.

"Who gives a shit about some stupid exams?" scoffs Mammon in his characteristic way "I want to get away from those and you're the perfect excuse."

"No!" This time, putting more emphasise on the word.

"Wha'? Why not? Come on!"

"I said no! Leave!" The moment I say those words, his entire figure stiffens and his expression changes as his dumb, cunning smile turns into a grimace. 

He turns around and steps away from me finally giving me the time to breathe. I take a few deep gulps of air. I press my back to the stonewall allowing myself to be bathed in the light of a torch sitting above me. The shaking is dissapearing and my muscles are finally relaxing. I'm fine. I take a few steps but I can sense deep inside me that something feels wrong. The rage I felt before hasn't left me and is burning even more.

_What the hell is going on?_

This is unusual, this is unnatural, those aren't my feelings. 

I need to get going. I need to get to RAD, but something isn't right... this body doesn't belong to me anymore, my arms and legs feel like they are being hold by strings and a puppeteer, someone is commanding my every move. I'm walking without consent or direction. I try to fight it but with every struggle the strings get tighter and tighter giving me the experience of swimming in concrete.

Before I know it, I'm in front of a door I have never seen before. The structure looks solid made out of a material similar to iron and is covered with dark inscriptions and symbols that do not look like something they teach at RAD.

Its energy hits different from any other rooms in the House of Lamentation, like tiny needles are stabbing my heart and a lead blanket is being put over my shoulders. Being physically next to is taking a toll on my body but I'm not feeling unwelcomed.

_What is this? Did I missed this when I was given that tour the day I arrived in Devildom?_

My arms and legs are starting to belong to me again but I'm confused. I'm trying to leave but something is stopping me. Something is pulling my attention like a magnet, a growing desire inside of me. I need to open this door. No. I must open this door! I put my hands on the cold, dusty handle and push. The door opens in a screech giving me the impression that it hasn't been opened in centuries. I step inside the room.

 _Nothing_

An empty space with stone floor and walls. As I enter, a putrid smell hits me immediately. The stench of death and torture making me realise something gruesome happened here before. A shadow of its past creeping into my nostrils, sending me on my knees, gagging.

Suddenly, a warm breeze is blowing on my skin. It feels like a touch, like fingertips are dancing on my cheeks.

_Such a calming presence._

The stench of corpses becomes an aroma of cardamom and tobacco. My fear, my rage, my torment are disappearing, turning into numbness. I can't feel anything. My soul levitates leaving behind my sorrow, getting me drunk on tranquillity.

Firefly like creatures that I have never seen before are coming out of nowhere, flying besides my spirit, bringing even more peace. I'm in awe at those fluorescent speckles, particles of light dancing a ballet of chaos.

They are getting closer and closer and...they are starting to rip my carcass?

_They are attacking me!_

They cut, and bite, and pull, and rip, leaving me in bleeding wounds. I try to run but I can't, as my body is stunned on the floor without the possibility of moving. I try to scream yet nothing but a muffled murmur came out instead of my voice.

 _"You are not strong!_ _They do not care about you, human. You are nothing but a vessel of flesh for a rancid soul. You are not valuable, you do not matter. They are just using you for their selfish desires and after that they will discard you like scum. They can't even feed on you as you are rotten, dirtied by fragility!"_

"...!"

_"You can't believe this, human? Well you should. I am not a foe, but a friend, I'm trying to help you."_

"...?!"

_"Who I am is not important for now. You will find out soon enough."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit shorter than the previous one. I truly hope that you enjoyed it! The next one is coming soon ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I shall never doubt them...

The disembodied voice sounds artificial, almost mechanical, like a well trained choir that sings a melody of despair, their words striking my conscience heavily. I hate with all my being what I'm hearing. It can't be true! Diavolo showed me only but kindness, the brothers, sometimes were overpowered by their own sins but they would never hurt...me. _I am lying to myself, aren't I?_ I was harmed by them. I was ripped from my world, undressed of my identity and put into this dimension of chaos against my will. I'm no Solomon and neither Lilith, even though celestial blood is running through my veins, what for? Was it destiny to be here or just bad luck?

 _"You finally realise the truth my words are holding, aren't you, human?"_

The bleeding wounds the creatures imposed on me are starting to vanish, the pain disappearing, and like a concentrated morphine is pumping through my veins, I'm drugged into a state of ataraxia. My body is floating with my spirit now. The apathy wraps me like a cold veil, chilling my tormented skin. I can only see the dark ceiling of the stone room. No more light-creatures, even my blood that spilled on the walls, painting the gray stone in a crimson color has disappeared.

_"I will help you, human! Now, close your eyes, we shall meet again!"_

I don't know why I'm listening to what they are saying. Its out my character. Has my scepticism vanished? I have never felt such a trust. My rationale is telling me that I'm being brainwashed, manipulated into believing without questioning, just like a dog and its master and yet...the words they hold destroyed the fog surrounding my mind. And that peacefulness I felt. The gift of such sensation, even the pain of my skin being sliced open felt good. This can only mean that they want the best for me, right? They want to help me! 

_I shall never doubt them..._

I close my eyes, letting myself to be wrapped in darkness. My body feels in a trance like state, numb, paralysed like my flesh form has disappeared leaving my mind wondering aimlessly. I'm dreaming. I see myself in my beautiful human world, in my own home, alone, deepening myself in the vices I left before I came into the hole of anguish. I'm smoking a cigarette, letting the nicotine engulf my lungs, serotonin bathing my brain with every draw, watching the dancing waves being illuminated by the sun glowing from the window. Sun...oh, and how much I missed it. I look around. It is my apartament, indeed. I recognize the yellow stained kitchen furniture, the small table next to the window, uncovered pipes and cables. Walls that have fissures in them, all painted white, almost hospital-like. The smell of my own perfume, the sickly sweet peony aroma mixed with ciggerettes soaking the space. 

"Hey...you're home!" I know this voice. It is my roommate.

"Yeah..." 

Her slender figure making her way in the minuscle kitchen, holding a bottle with a brownish golden liquid. 

"Wanna drink?"

"Sure."

As soon as I say that, she opened the bottle of liqueur and put on the small table two mugs, filling them up, almost to the brim.

"Chaser?" 

"You know I take it straight" I say while I light another cigarette and take a sip, letting the burning sensation to engulf my being, like I'm an addict for sensations, the thirst for feeling never being satiated.

"Where the hell have you been?!" She says, slamming her hands on the table, startling me. "It's like you fucking disappeared from the face of the earth" she continues with a shaking voice, staring into my eyes with a mix of curiosity, confusion, anger and worry on her face. "No call, no message, no nothing..."

"It's a long story..." I say, lowering my eyes, watching the liquid from the mug dancing at every movement.

"It better be good!" says my roomate, submerging herself into the chair, folding her arms at her chest.

I draw another smoke, smiling to myself. I missed her so much and even more, I missed the days where we were just sitting in the small apartament, doing nothing but chatting, painting its grimm walls with brilliant paint of our laghter. Such happy, simpler times.

I raise my eyes again, looking at her but...something isn't right. Her face, inches from mine, staring at me with a menaceing look. 

"They will remove your spine, will uncover your lungs and heart, they will break your ribs and will stab your eyes with your own bones, will feed you your own tongue while laughing at you, chewing your half-breed disgusting Celestial soul, spitting it after like it's nothing"

"W-what..."

Her eyes, once human, bright, filled with life, now empty, dead. Her mouth opens, a pale hand coming from inside of her, reaches for my neck, sqeezing with such a force that it almost broke my spine.

_"Does it hurt?"_

The skin on her face is melting, along with the hand, distortioning into a gruesome image of her bloody flesh. Her body burning, revealing almost bleached bones. Her cells liquefying, seeping into the floor.

I jump from my seat, my heart pounding and my hands shaking, unable to do anything but to watch as the space around me crumbling into a void.

"Hey, wake up!"

"Oi, human! Wake up!"

Suddenly I feel light tapping on my cheeks, searching for a glimpse of life from my body. I open my eyes, seeing seven known faces watching me with worried expression. A gloved hand now lays flat on my forhead.

"Oi! What the hell were you doing sleeping in the hallway?! Are you nuts? Do you want to be eaten?"

"You're burning up. Looks like you caught a sickness" says Lucifer "I will personally speak to Diavolo to withhold the exams until..."

"D-don't touch me!"


	4. Chapter 4

My voice blasts like poisonous arrows, making all seven brothers to jolt from their positions: Mammon, Beel and Belphie at the foot of my bed, Satan, Asmo and Levi in the corner, next to the dresser, hands folded at their chests. Lucifer rises one of his eyebrows and retracts his hand, his worried expression turning into a grimace.

"What is going on?!" asks Satan. The rest of them sitting quiet, uneasyness resting on their faces.

"Indeed, what is going on..." repeats Lucifer.

"Don't you fucking dare touch me!" I yell again, glaring. 

I can't even express this inner, unnatural hatred that I feel inside of me. My inner core is fuming, burning with disgust, making me spew, like a snake, venom at each and everyone of them. I can't control this rotten contempt that I'm feeling. My fists are clenching with repulsion, my nails digging so hard into my flesh that I'm bleeding, tiny rivers of red plasma staining the white sheets of the bed of my prison cell, my body is shaking. And yet, this pain is nothing compared to the pain they put me through and the pain they _will_ put me through. I don't want to accept it but a voice is reciting into my head, a voice that is not mine, again, and again, and again:

" _They are going to kill you!"_

But I love them. I love them so dearly that this loathing, this revulsion feels so wrong. They made me feel like family, like I'm precious to them and... they are precious to me too. They are my demons, my lovely boys, pieces of my heart that beats with every touch, every smile, every laugh, every moment spent together. The way I'm acting is not me! I'm hurting them and their hurt is painful to me as well.

_"One of them strangled you, human!"_

No...

_"The want nothing more than to destroy you. Their actions speak louder than my words, and you know it as well! You believe me! You have no choice!"_

My view is being cobwebbed, I'm being blinded by rage. Without control, like my arms and legs have a mind of their own, I'm being pulled from my bed. I can only see red in front of me, survival instincts controling my wants. I lash, like a wounded animal at the demon closest to me, a yearning to destroy sickening my desires. But two strong arms catch my rabid body, pinning me on the floor like I'm nothing. My back immediately hits the floor in a loud thump, the pain from the impact taking my breath away in an instant. The demon closest to me was Lucifer. He is in his demon form, dark horns growing from his head, his black diamond shaped symbol from his forhead reflecting my pathetic expression. His crimson eyes painted into a cold, unerved stare. I stand no chance. Tears of frustration are forming in the corners of my eyes, traveling down my cheeks unravelling my shame and fear.

"Let me go!" I whimper, wanting nothing more than all of this torment to end.

"Unfortunately, I can't do that. You attacked a council student member and until you don't communicate with us on what is going on, I won't let you go." the coldness of Lucifer's voice sending shivers down my spine. My heart is beating so fast it feels like my chest is going to explode. I'm scared.

"Oi what the...!" Mammon jumped from his place, in a second teleporting next to me.

"Lucifer, stop!" a wailing beg coming from Asmo's mouth.

"Let her go!" 

I hear the other brothers, like in a dream, they gather around me and Lucifer, pairs of horns, powerful auras and wings growing beside me like flowers of darkness, that have been gingerly put on my agonazing grave. My wrist are being rubbed raw by Lucifer's strong grip, sqeezing more blood from the wounds I inflicted on my own palms, wetting the cuffs of his clothes.

"Let her go, Lucifer, she's bleeding!" I can hear Levi pleading with the older brother.

"I ask again. What is going on with you? This behaviour of yours... This is not you! I expect a thorough explenation here and now. I can stay like this all day if I have to!"

"Oi!"

"Don't you think you're kind of harsh, Lucifer? She's hurting!" A wailing Asmodeus begging the Avatar of Pride again.

I stare at the demon that sits over me, his expression is dark and serious, but...there is pain behind his frowning eyes. My bleeding wrists are feeling like they are almost cracking under the pressure of his grip, yet I can't do nothing but burst into laughter. And is not a laughter of glee, but a laughter of despair, anger and annoyance. _This is not you_ he said!

"This is not me?! Like you know anything about me!" I yell, my frustration transforming my screaming voice into acid, burning the inside of my throat. 

"What are you saying?" the confusion and sadness in Beel's voice almost waking me up from this gruesome state of mind until...

_"They do not care about you, human, stop lying to yourself!"_

I shake my head, I have so much more to say, to condemn but instead of words only more tears are falling, washing away my pathetic attempt of hiding the true state of my mind, revealing the dark circle under my eyes.

"I'm tired" I hiccup. And indeed I am so tired of all of this.

The pressure on one of my wrists stopped, a hand searching my face, wiping away the tears mixed with make-up. My dried blood painting the piece of pale skin between his glove and sleeve.

"How long have you been hurting?" 

"Lucifer, please. She's been through enough today." Requested Satan, with his hand resting on Lucifer's shoulder.

My body is being gently lifted on the bed again, but my arms bounded above my head by an invisible force. 

"We need to find out what is going on. Until then, I don't trust her." said Lucifer, with his back turned at me, like I don't exist, pointing at his brothers. "I want each and everyone one of you on guarding duty and to report to me everything bizarre that is happening to her, understood? This is an order! I also don't trust you not to fall for her wailing as her condition is unstable so we have to be cautious. I will tell you how this procedure will happen tomorrow. Now everybody get some rest."

"B-but..." Mammon's attempt at questioning Lucifer's orders breaking the dire silence. 

"Mammon!" Lucifer's tone of voice piercing the ears of everyone around, yelling his younger brother's name with such harshness that the air in Mammon's lungs left him in a sorrowful sigh.

"Understood..." 

"I made sure she isn't going anywhere by being safely contained in this room. If it's something that will jeopardize Diavolo's program I won't forgive myself." He continued, worried with a hand covering hid chest.

I cannot pay attention anymore at what is going on, the exhaustion engulfing me. I can't think, I can't feel. I'm numb, paralyzed from my brain to my body. I close my eyes falling into a deep slumber without caring about the uncomfortable position I was left into.

A few hours pass, as I'm finally resting until a presence that watches above me startled me, waking me up almost in a jump. A hand covering my mouth muffling my attempt at a dreadful scream. 

"Hey, hey, don't yell!" This voice... I recognize this voice! I pay close attention to the figure, his hair full, wavy with an auburn color that shines under the warm dim lights, brushed back revealing youthful traits. Emerald eyes, one of them with a cat-like pupil, staring at me with glee. His full lips are resting into a mischievous smirk with a childish dimple painting his left cheek. He looks young yet mature. He is dressed into a black, unbuttoned long coat made out of a thin material, with a burgundy button up under it. There is something about him that makes me stare in awe. It is almost hypnotizing. He removed his hand from my mouth, his smirk growing wider.

"I believe we haven't exchanged pleasantries yet, human" he said, almost singing the words. Different from the disembodied voice I experienced until now, the tone more serious, now, he's like a child that found a sparkly new toy ready to play with. "My name is Seir and I'm going to help you...human!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that everyone is safe and sound! Please, stay at home if it's possible, wash your hands, don't touch your face, practice social distancing. Everyone is in a vulnerable position but the most vulnerable ones are our elders, so please, protect them. Remember, if your goverment sucks, take the precautions into your own hands. My country is getting close to Italy's and Spain's situation and things are pretty scary at the moment. With all said, I know that my fanfic is angst galore but at least I hope that is a "feel good" angst? Haha. Enjoy the chapter and once again, stay safe!


	5. Chapter 5

"You're gonna help me, you're gonna help me... from fucking what?!" I say in a glimpse of sobering clarity, as a slap like feeling wakes my rationale from its deep slumber back into reality, resuscitating me from the trance like state of mind I in was before now. "You've been telling me all this time, that I'm gonna perish, that I'm gonna die, torturing me. How do you know that? And, aren't you a demon as well? Why should I trust you?!" I fix my eyes on Seir, scanning his every contracting muscle. His movements start becoming more energized, his smirk growing wider. His response for me was just a childish giggle. 

The cackle stopped suddenly. He changed his expression immediately, lowering his eyebrows and forming his lips into a tight line.

"Watch this!" He spoke in a stern voice. As soon as he said that, his cat-like eye started glowing and light symbols and shapes are illuminating the room. The energy changed, becoming more heavy, putting a slight pressure on my chest. More coherent images are starting to form. I'm recognising some of them. I see the halls at RAD. Its silence being broken by the stepping sounds of a silhouette that is desperately running from something. I watch closer. His uniform disheveled, blood running from his nose and mouth, bruises and deep cuts painting his body.

"I-is that a RAD student?" I ask as the disturbing images are making my voice tremble.

"A human student" responded Seir correcting me. 

As soon as I open my mouth to ask more questions he disappeared instantly without a trace leaving me confused as I search for his presence in the room. 

_What the...?_ I ask myself but couldn't finish the thought because someone has entered the room. 

"Hey! Lucifer remembered that you hadn't eaten at all so he sent me to bring you something." said the demon in a monotonous, tired voice, holding in one hand a tray with human food and scalding hot tea and under his other arm a tiny, white fluffy pillow with black spots on it. His hair unkempt, covers his lavander colored eyes. "Beel offered to do it but you know how he is with food, he would've eaten the tray as well. Lucifer didn't let him come with me either, I don't know why. Who knows what is going on in his head?! Now Beel is very upset because he is very worried about you, you know? We all are. Also..." continued Belphegor and with a swift motion of his hand, my bindings disappeard finally freeing my arms. I grab my writs as I try to soothe them and I look at my palms, my wounds have disappeared as well "I know HE can be overbearing and likes to exaggerate but you're not a prisoner."

But I couldn't enjoy my new found freedom because as soon as I saw the demon in front of me, a knot started to form in my stomach, making me feel very nauseous. The pulse of my heart almost made my chest burst open, uneasiness flooding my senses.

_"Does it hurt?"_

I hear his mocking words in the back of my mind, the perisive tone of his voice slapping me in the face as I feel a ghostly hand searching for my neck, squeezing, strangling me, stealing the air inside my lungs.

He looks at me, his violet eyes glistens behind his dark hair.

"Are you okay?" He asks, leaving the tray on the wooden desk. He gets closer to me, concern being read on his face. He puts his hand on my shoulder but my body stiffens, backing itself automatically in a corner of the bed, as the position gives me a false sense of protection.

"Belphegor...I-I..." I try to murmur but the words keep getting stuck in my throat as I struggle to breath. 

"What is this smell...?" He interrupts both of us suspiciously. As soon as he says that he turns into his demon form. His tail curiously swifting as he searches frantically every corner of the room.

Suddenly, the door opens again. This time, a tiny, agitated figure enters, running at me. He jumps in my arms, squeezing my body hard afraid that if he lets me go, I will crumble into dust. 

"L-Luke?! What are you...?" his embrace alerting me.

"You haven't been at RAD today!" his face is squished against my chest, almost muffling all his words "so I asked those ugly demons but they didn't want to tell me anything! I was worried that you're sick, or those monsters did something to you, or...or...!" he continues, his voice crackling into teary hiccups.

"Oh, Luke..." I rest my chin on his tiny white hat as his powdered sugar smell gives me a sense of comfort. "I'm okay, just a little bit...sick...That's all!"

"Are you sure?" He asks, raising his eyes at me, innocence reading on his face. 

"I'm sure. I'm sorry that I made you worry, I just need to rest a little." indicating that I want to be left alone.

"Okay..." he hiccups. "But what about him?" he points at Belphegor who stopped in his useless search, barely keeping his eyes open. 

"H-he will leave too!" I say, gathering my leftover strength.

"What?" asks Belphegor almost waking up. "But Lucifer...and the scent!"

"You heard her!" Said Luke, with all his innocent might, his voice more demanding "She said she needs to rest!" continues the tiny angel, forcefully pushing the demon outside of the room, the door closing behind them.

I sigh in relief and exhaustion, deflating into my sheets. Finally some peace and quiet. I cover my eyes with my palms, counting my inhales and exhales. I get out of the bed, every step feeling like I'm walking on glass dragging my body into the shower, as it finally belongs to me, smiling to myself that I'm finally in control.

I turn on the water, the droplets hitting my body, washing away my sorrow, my despair, my confusion. I can finally relax, the soreness of my muscles finally being contained. My mind is numb as I can't reflect at all at what is happening. I'm just concentrating on the water that feels so good on my skin, almost like a healing elixir. I get out, the cold air hitting my steamy skin. I wrap myself in a silky towel as I crash into the bed, breathing heavily, counting to myself the seconds that pass, the grains of sand in my hourglass.

"That was close!" I hear Seir's giggling voice. I turn my head in the direction of the sound, his face inches from mine. I jumped back startled and annoyed by the act, making him laugh even harder. He stops and looks at me, eyeing me up and down with lustful green eyes.

"Umn. Get d-dressed!" He yelled, beating himself up almost, swifting his hand through his hair. "I can't continue like this..." he said more to himself than to me.

I conform to his request, throwing on me some more fitting clothes.

"So, where were we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that everyone is well and safe! Take care of yourself and the people around you and Happy Holidays for everyone that celebrates Easter! ^^


	6. Chapter 6

"Wait!" I interrupt Seir, his shoulders sulking annoyed. 

"There is no time!" He said, his voice filled with exasperation, frantically tapping one of his feet on the floor.

"Quiet!" I yell, raising my shoulders making myself taller.

"B-but..." he tried to continue, but my mind and soul are filled with so much confusion and rage that without thinking, my fist suddenly grabbed the burgundy collar of his shirt, squeezing hard at the fabric. My nails are digging into the skin. If he was human, his shell would've been pierced and his flesh would've started to bleed. His body feels even colder than the brothers'. His smell, cardamom and tobacco, fills my nostrils making me remember the gruesome scene in the sinister room from before, where I was attacked and tormented, my blood boiling even harder.

"I said quiet!" I yell, deepening my voice, cutting him off, his eyes widening at my words and actions. His lips are formed in a tight line, a groan leaving his lungs.

"I need some time to put my thoughts in order. I'll watch later, now leave!" I continue, while my grip on his collar loosens. I turn my back on him, leaving Seir in my shadow. His posture is stiff and his shoulders are low and defeated, only his green eyes are traveling over my figure, watching my movements in shock.

I sigh as I check the tray Belphegor left on the wooden nightstand, forgetting about the presence in the room. The tea in the metallic kettle is almost still warm but the buttered toast on the plate became stale and unsavory. I pucker my lips and grab the kettle defeated, and I pour myself a cup of lukewarm tea.

 _"I hate tea..."_ I say to myself while holding the teacup, my fingers feeling the intricacies of the handle while I walk to my desk. I pull out one of the drawers and I grab a little rectangular packet and a lighter. I reach the window next to my bed and open it, letting the warm, ominous breeze of Devildom entering the room, the songs of its fauna introducing themselves as well. I lower myself on the floor, careful not to spill any liquid from the teacup, pulling my legs up to my chest. I open the tiny packet and remove a cigarette, presing its filter to my lips.

"Those are..." said Seir, raising his hand at me as if he wants to touch me, waking up from the shock I left him earlier. My attention is grabbed as well. 

"I thought I told you to leave, Seir!" My voice being a little calmer as I draw from the cylindrical shaped poison, staring annoyed at him.

"Diavolo banned them a few centuries ago, saying they are unhealthy, how did you..."

"They are not banned in the human world, at least, not where I live. Why?" I ask, pressing the porcelain cup on my lips, letting the liquid inside to wash the taste of ash in my mouth.

"W-well, you see..." tried Seir to give me an explanation, but both his words and figure are stumbling over eachother.

"If I give you one, will you leave?" I say while removing a tiny white cylinder from the packet, shoving it into his face, but I couldn't finish my movement as the cigarette is being yanked from my fingers with such a force that arrows of pain started shooting in my palm.

"YES!" yelled Seir excitedly as he disappeared into the void, finally leaving me alone with my thoughts.

 _"What a weird guy..."_ I think to myself while drawing another smoke. I extinguish the cigarette in the almost empty cup and I let my head rest on my knees, defeated. 

_My life changed so drastically in the past year that I can barely fathom the seriosity of the situation. I was kidnapped from my simple, mundane life, brought into a new world as an exchange student, got almost killed and now this. And those demons...that are so dear to me now, being the culprits of my misery? And me being the culprit of their misery...I did attack Lucifer. What was I thinking?! Almost like it wasn't me! And his trust in me was in shambles before... I don't want to take into consideration Seir words and yet..._

But I couldn't finish my train of thought because a knock on the door disturbed my peace again.

"What now?!" I yell in exasperation, removing myself from the floor, but remaining put in the middle of the room.

"It's me, Satan!" The figure behind the door finally spoke calmly.

"Please, leave me alone!" I yell back, my hands folded at my chest not moving an inch.

"I can't! Lucifer's orders!" He continued.

"Since when are you following Lucifer's orders?" I ask the demon suspiciously, raising one of my eyebrows.

"When it comes to your safety, I do! Please, open the door!"

"Please, Satan, I need to be alone for crying out loud! I'm not going to let you in, I'm sorry!" I yell back.

"I'm going to break the door!" He growled from the other side.

I stop responding as my words are futile and grab the handle, letting the demon inside.

He takes a step in and suddenly, he covers his mouth and nose with the sleeve of his beige jumper.

"It smells like death in here!" Said the demon, almost gagging.


	7. Chapter 7

I rest my hand on the demon's shoulder, grabbing his body in an attempt to calm him down. Tears are forming in his jade eyes as he struggles to breath. I direct him to the window where he takes in a big gulp of air, the greenish tint on his face disappears in an instant and the rosy healthy color returns.

"What do you mean _death?_ I don't smell anything and more importantly, are you ok?" I ask with a concern and confused tremor in my voice.

"Thanks for the help, yes, I'm fine now." said the blonde demon, the corners of his lips rising into a smile, comforting my worries in regards of his own well being, but it didn't last long as he lowered his eyebrows in a serious expression.

"Was anyone here before?" he asks accusingly.

"Besides your brother and Luke, no." I lie instantly as if I made my own mind on the spot: _I can't let the demons know about Seir. Not before I find out what the deal is._

"Hmm." Sung Satan, his palm resting on his chin now, not leaving his spot at the window, his piercing gaze staring at me denunciatory. "The miasma in this room, on your hands, that drowns your regular sweet peony scent, is not normal. More importantly, I have smelled it before. Are you sure there was not anyone here?" the demon continues, pressing on every single word.

"Are you accusing me of lying?!" I say in an attempt of a silly gashlight that, surprisingly kinda works as the expression on Satan's face softens.

He lowers his eyes on the floor where the teacup and the cigarette butt rests. He grabs them and search the leftover poison in the cup as if the sinful object offers him the information he needs in order to complete a puzzle.

"The miasma..." he spoke into a distant, soft voice as if his mind is wandering into a different realm, his back pressed to the window sill, Devildom's breeze making his golden locks to dance "the first time I sense it was almost a century ago..."

"What do you mean?" I ask while lowering on the floor, my legs at my chest, lighting another cigarette, but both my actions and my words not reaching him as he continues to relate his story unbothered.

"A book, from your world, a memoir to be more precise, and judging by its energy, it was definitely written by a sorcerer. It was after you call The World War I. I was in the human world for an errand, when I found it on the ground, laying in a puddle, disheveled, wet and torn. It had a leather blue cover with golden bindings that you could've barley distinguish because of its deplorable state. No author, just the title. I thought that its content was lost as well, but I was curious enough..."

He pauses, giving himself a moment to gather his memories.

"And?" I ask impatiently.

"As I open the book" he continues, "a powerful scent of rotting corpses, death, pain, sorrow and blood all mixed together into a putrid concoction that hit me in an instant. You see, I'm not just a demon, but a prince, which means I'm incredibly resilient. Nothing from your world can affect me. But that... It was as if all the corruption in the whole three realms, all the pain and suffering, the tears, the blood, the evil were there, I felt everything!"

"Did you see what was written in?" I ask, drawing once more from the almost burned out cigarette.

"Hmm?" he looks at me confused and uncertain, as if I woke him up from a meditative state "...no I did not, even though the pages were intact the book disintegrated into dust as soon as I opened it..." 

"Do you remember what the title was?"

But as soon as I say that, something starts to feel wrong about the demon in front of me. The corners of his mouth drop into a grimace, his emerald eyes once glistening with kindness and openness, now gleaming with rage and contempt. His figure engulfed into a dark aura that made me feel as if ice was being dropped on my back.

"Satan...? Are you... what are you... did I say something wrong?" 

But my words do not reach him, but making his malice grow even bigger. A dark light filled the room as horns grow on his head, changing himeslf into his demonic form. I try to yell his name once again, but to no avail, he is not even looking at me but staring at the floor.

I back down, raising the distance between us, getting closer to the door but my escaping attempt is being dismounted by his demonic agility, in a blink of an eye he jumped right next to me, grabbing the collar of my shirt and lifting me from the ground. His other hand, palm open with a green tinted flame flowing from his fingers, lays ready to offer me the fatal blow. I attempt to yell his name once again, squirming into his grip, trying to free myself. He looks at me and as if the light return to his eyes, his coercion loosens as well but for only a second because he throws my body which hits the wall, an inch closer and I almost hit the wooden dresser. I continue my fall on the floor, hitting the ground in loud thump, pain piercing my body and the air leaving my lungs. I couldn't compose myself because I'm grabbed again but this time more gentle and by a different presence. I look around and I see Seir's mischievous smile.

"I told you I'm gonna help you, human!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter has some gore elements and mentions of suicide and self-harm, so reader's discretion is advised

"Seir?!" I gasped his name. His arms are tight around my shoulders his coldness chilling the core in my bones. His body feels like a blizzard, colder than a corpse, my exhales turning to fog as if I'm in the middle of winter. I look around me and we are not in the House of Lamentation anymore but in a different space. Dark, thin tree trunks are painting the location, the heavy light of the Devildom moon shining through the crimson-colored leaves, illuminating the water droplets of the mist, making it look like fireflies are dancing around us. Flowery vines are dropping from the branches like strands of hair, their smell so sweet almost nauseating. The air feels heavy yet quiet.

"Aren't you a lucky one? A few moments later and you'd be minced meat. I was able to heal your wounds as well, your spine was broken because of the impact with the wall. Damn, you humans are weak! " said Seir in an annoyingly cheerful tone.

He is right, I feel no pain.

He let go of me, the smirk never leaving his lips. I grab my arms in an attempt to bring some warmth into my body while the scene of me being attacked by Satan keeps playing inside my mind. Yet...I feel numb. Nothing. I feel no fear, no rage, no nothing, as if my humanity, my weaknesses, have been paralyzed. No, not paralyzed, weirder than that. As if my feelings are being held hostage inside my being, wanting to come out but being blocked by a wall of apathy. Is it the forest? Or Seir? 

"Thanks for... helping me" I say shyly. "Do you know why Satan attacked me all of a sudden?". I ask trying to fight this weird alienation that got over me.

"If you listened to me, you would've known." He said with a judgemental look in his eyes "But, you're human, it was to be expected. You are stubborn, sinful creatures, it's in your nature to act high and mighty when things don't turn your way even though you have the power of filthy ants!" The sourness in his voice would've sent me chill down my spine if it wasn't for this veil of magic. I heard those words way too many times since being brought here. We, humans are being seen like nothing more than a nuisance and a meal but there was something humanly in his voice, like he experienced it before and left him with a bitter taste. I tried to say something but he raised his hand at me interrupting me.

"Keep it to yourself, I don't need to hear it!" he continues "We're safe here for the moment. Are you going to listen to me now?!" 

I let out a deep sigh and look at him.

"Where is here anyway?" 

"Someplace. Those disgusting demons won't be able to find us here, that's what's important for now."

"Aren't you a demon as well?" I ask, raising one of my eyebrows.

Seir's demeanor changed, a heavy aura of contempt engulfing him. He jumped at me, his face is inches from mine, his eyes are narrowed and rigid, his nostrils are flaring. He had his cold finger pressing at my chest, almost digging into my sternum with his frostiness, a weird splurge of painful tingling dispersing through my body, like my blood cells were hit with electrical current.

" **Don't you ever put me in the same category with those vile monsters**!" He yelled, almost foaming at the mouth.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry!" I say lifting both of my arms in an attempt to deflect the situation. I don't want to die yet.

He left a deep sigh and turned his back at me. I try and rub the spot where he touched me to remove the burning cold pain that he inflicted on me but to no avail. My chest is cold and sore, like it was subjected to a severe frostbite.

"Look!" He said, grabbing my attention.

Once again, his cat-like pupil started to emanate a golden light, coherent pictures starting to form. Once again, the images of the disheveled bloody student that he showed me earlier returns, but new pieces of information come along. I watch closely.

 _The victim stopped in his tracks to catch his breath, his body is shaken in both fear and anger. "If you keep running, you'll be more tender"_ I know this voice! Levi?! _"This chasing increased my appetite!"_ Beel?! _"I want the juicy thighs!"_ Asmo?! _One by one the brothers came into the picture, circling the poor boy like rabid hungry beasts, bloodlust into their eyes, foam at their mouths, plasma and flesh in their nails. One demon at the time grabbing at the victim's body. The crack his arm made from being dislocated from its hinge almost covered the morbid scream of the distress and pain that came out of the boy's lungs. The still wriggly limb was carefully shared between Satan and Levi, now their pale faces being dirtied by blood, bone dust, and tendons. Then came the other arm being devoured by Belphegor with a smile. The scream stopped, followed by a gargle and murmur, the carcass falling on the floor. One leg was taken whole by Beel and the other one shared between Mammon and Asmo, with disgusting glee and satisfaction on their faces. Then a dark figure came into the pictures, towering over the stump of breathing flesh. His index finger in his mouth removing a maroon glove, revealing long red claws. The other hand caressing the almost dead boy's cheek, making him look at his tormentor's face. With the degloved hand, he pierced the victim's chest, removing the still-beating heart, holding it as a trophy. Lucifer licked his lips in delight and started devouring the prize._

And with that, the hologram disappeared. Every time I tried to turn my head in order not to see the horrific scenes, Seir's hand grabbed at my chin forcing me to keep watching. But I'm not an idiot. Seir forcing me to observe every single detail was one of his mistakes. The images were gruesome but sloppy because some details were contradicting themselves. Something that only I could see but decided to keep them hidden.

"This is not the only victim," he said.

I raise my eyebrows at his remark.

"Diavolo lied to you. This is not the first year of the program exchange."

"What do you mean?"

"This has going on for centuries. Thousands and thousands of poor souls were brought here to be consumed. Your flesh is a delicacy on itself but they found out that it tastes better when the victim is brought into a sense of security at first, when the victim puts their trust into the tormentor."

 _"Do you think that I'm that stupid, Seir?"_ I think to myself as my fingers curl into fists.

"And why are you helping me?" I continue to pry. "If you knew what was going on, why didn't you put a stop to it but decided to do it now?"

"Because you're cute!" he said, looking at me with lustful eyes, eyeing me up and down. He licked his lips making the tea I drank earlier get stuck in my throat. Seeing my reaction of disgust, he smirked again but his serious tone returned. "Also, you're the first hybrid mutt that won't go mad."

"Huh?" I express wide-eyed, the new detail making me jerk out of place.

"You're not the first crossbreed between an angel and a human. There are and were thousands. But Nephilims don't last long." Seir let out a deep sigh, if I didn't know him, I would've guessed it was a sorrowful one.

"Nephilims?" I ask raising both of my eyebrows.

"Yeah, yeah, what you are...or kinda are," he said, scratching his head, his auburn locks gliding between his fingers "They get mad pretty early in their age because they hold Celestial power in sinful vessels. And because they can't control it, they turn insane, and in their insanity, they tend to end their own lives to get rid of it. And a Nephilim's method of suicide is very violent too. You see, for them, in their madness, it is not enough to kill the vessel, but they need to destroy it as well. And there is so much blood..." he said, lowering his eyes on the floor, but a blissful smile escapes from his lips "But it looks like you're special!"

"How so?"

"The mutt your angel ancestor and their lover have bred which, in one way or another, did not turn mad, created a whole generation capable of withstanding Celestial power without affecting them."

I close my eyes to process the new wave in information coming my way. Somehow, he was being sincere so I ask further.

"And why do you need me?"

"Glad you asked!" yelled Seir, his face lighting up "You'll help me kill Diavolo and his peers!"

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! So this is my first fan fic ever since I was in High school. Please be gentle with me as English is not my native language either. Hope you enjoyed it!


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